The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , leading to powerful feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, well-being, nearness, and love .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
However, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than important site a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!