The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .
When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically best site justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that much of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys particularly in city areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To avoid the page Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!