The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and consequences.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).
B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, websites nearness, love, and wellness .
However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is terrific!" They probably wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that numerous of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means combining chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and goals -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!